A few random snippets of conversation from our house

Critter: Mom, I had a squishy orange in my backpack from lunch

Bride: did you eat it?

Critter: No, I tried to blow it up.

Bride: Oh, were you successful?

Critter: No. I used the bike pump and the air just hisses out.

I think I teared up a bit. Those are my genes showing through right there.  But still. Probably time to hide the lighter fluid.

...

Bride: Have you seen my shoes? I need to go poop.

Me: I do not live in a world where I can make those two things relate to one another.

...

Bride: I just caught your four year old son endlessly singing the theme to New Girl. He knows all the words.

Me: In his defense: that Zooey Deschanel is way hotter than her sister Emily. 

Stuff I did when I wasn't here

I don't write about it much (here), but I really still do have a day job where I diddle with computers. 

• Your password policy is stupid - this the (actually somewhat toned down version of the) post I shared at my company.  (Sometimes I realize: it's good to be in charge of things. Especially when you can make it easier for people to work here.) 

• CEOs, CIOs Favor Big Data Over Social Software - WSJ.com blog: You should see the pretty pictures we can make with your data these days. 

• Hello. I am a CIO. And I like Outlook.  We tried Google. Really we did. Turns out? Not so much. But your mileage may vary. 

Welcome home, Autobot

A couple of weeks ago, I had to make a tour of Europe for work. It's been a while since I changed jobs, and my family (and myself) have pretty much gotten used to me not traveling anymore.  It was downright awkward to be in the airport again after so long. 

It's been nice. 

However, these things come up, and the Boy, who was a bit worried about me being alone for so long, gave me one of his Transformer toys to play with. (Not his Optimus Prime, mind you.  Just a nameless figure that he sort of likes. Still. It was sweet, no?) 

I sent home pictures along the way. 

First: the autobot hit Germany.

A redeye flight to Paris: Autobot needs coffee.

Autobot wants to know how to get to Versailles.

 

 

No, autobot. We're not going to Disneyland. We're getting on a plane and saying goodbye to France. 

 

 

 

Dinner in the UK.

 Smoked bacon & haggis fritters. Topped with poached egg and a side of Old Speckled Hen ale.

 This is one of the top five things I have ever put in my mouth.

 

Autobot approves. 

More from the UK: 

Autobot loves Mr. Porky. Hugs and kisses.

Chester. Autobot admires your architecture.

Autobot likes weird British chocolate. 

"Hey... wait a second - you're not the same Autobot!"

"Yes I am."

"No you're not! You look completely different."

"No I don't."

"What the hell. The other one had big tall wing things. You have crazy-weird devil horns. And you're half again as big!"

"OK. Fine. You got me."

"..."

"..."

"Well this is awkward."

"You lost the other one at the hotel & bought me as a replacement, didn't you?"

"Shutup and look at the flowers, Autobot."

 

Hey, fake-Autobot. Nice pillow.

It's not that I'm not glad you're home. And I do really like my new Autobot. But seriously, you left the other one? And people trust you with making decisions?

Oh yeah? Well... thanks to our friend Mr. Internet - look whose doppleganger made a reappearance!

I wonder what the hell did parents do before they invented Amazon?