It's like Walt Disney had sex with Las Vegas. Except not as classy. And it was in the desert. The only redeeming feature is, perhaps, the name: Falconcity of Wonders. You can only imagine the marketing meeting where they came up with that name. It takes a serious amount of Saturday morning cartoon watching to come up with a name like that. Hmm. Which might explain the whole concept of rebuilding the 8 wonders of the world larger than they actually exist, and filling them with condominium-glory, in tribute to the sheer awesomeness that is Falconcity of Wonders. Admit it, even the concept of Falconcity of Wonders makes where you live now seem like a crack-house of dullitude.       "Dude - didn't you live in Minneapolis?"       "Yes, but I gave all that up and moved. Now I reside in Falconcity of Wonders, in the Dubai Eiffel Tower, between the Dubai Taj Mahal and the Dubai Great Wall." Head-exploding awesomeness. Falconcity of Wonders adds Central Park to the mix

The Central Park Towers, which will be located at the base of the Falconcity of Wonders project in the feet of the Falcon beside the international cities such as Rome, Venice, Beirut, and India, will comprise a total of 24 towers made up of residential, commercial and hotel towers. At the center of this project will be a 1 million square feet park to complete the recreation of New York City's Central Park. The legs are a collection of 4-6 story buildings with different themes ranging from Happy Yemen, Lebanon down town Solider, India Taj Mahal, Rome's Leaning Tower of Pisa, Italian Gondola boats of Venice, and London's Big Ben."

"Rome's Leaning Tower of Pisa" Screw geography. When you live in Falconcity of Wonders, geography is irrelevant. I'm putting in a bid on some acreage in Happy Yemen.

Things that really should come back into fashion: #1: The Fedora. Or just hats in general. But mostly, fedoras. Admit it: you watch the old movies and think "God, that hat is dead sexy." Never mind that the good haircut wasn't invented until 1993. That's why you had a hat. #2: Bolos. Because they match with my giant belt buckles. #3: Giant belt buckles. #4: Paisley. Just kidding. #5: Hair metal. Ratt. Poison. Twisted Sister. Don't make that face. It's your guilty pleasure, too. Now think of them wearing fedoras. And bolos. With giant belt buckles. Perfection.

Last Monday was my birthday. I'm 33. That's the same age Christ was when he died. Hmm. Founded world-wide religion? Nope. Still on the list of things to do. Still, my birthday was a good one, as these things go. The Critter and my Bride cooked me all my favorite foods, and gave me a plethora of Bluegrass-related paraphenalia. Which is enough to make any man happy, in my opinion. Some other things that happened this week: - I got 3 (that's right: 3) flat tires on my car - how? Something to do with the alignment. And me not having any. - I arrived at the Hertz counter in California with an expired driver's license. Thankfully, he had no idea what to make of my provisional UK license, and let me take the car anyway. - I found out that the tenants living in our old house in California were just arrested for selling drugs on the property. This was related by one of our old neighbors to me and my new real estate agent who we just hired. Awesome. - About 15 minutes ago, the plug on my laptop power supply snapped when I went to plug it into the wall here at the airport. I have about 5 minutes left on my battery. Happy birthday, me (Boot to the head [boom]) In the meantime, go support this band. We saw them in concert in Liverpool, and had a chance to talk with them. This guy can play the hell out of anything with frets, and listening to their song "blessed, but not favored" kinda put my whole week in perspective. Link: http://www.JeffandVida.com