Pain Depot

This weekend, we painted our kitchen 3 times.

It wasn't really intentional. Well, I guess it's hard to accidentally paint the kitchen 3 times. But we certainly didn't sit down Friday night and think, "What should we do this weekend? I know! Let's paint the kitchen repeatedly!"

It started out when I was bored and in Home Depot. Not a combination designed to keep the money in my pocket. I think I was waiting for them to bring out whatever electric-cutty-thing I was purchasing that day. At any rate, I saw this amazing color of blue, and thought to myself "Hey - that would look good in our kitchen" So I bought it, and started painting. (knowing full well we're moving in a couple of months - but it still seemed like a good idea at the time

It certainly was a pretty color, but about halfway through I stopped so that Giuia could see it and pass judgment when she came home. (That's right. I picked the color all on my own.) We lived with it for a few days, and while we really like the color for some other room, it was too dark for our kitchen. So this weekend, I primed over the whole thing with Kilz, and tried out a new color that Giuia picked - a kind of apricot-yellow something. That didn't work either. Then we tried a pale yellow. No good. We gave up - back to the original color we go.

So yesterday I was back at Home Depot, and I thought - I'll make this easy on everybody: I'll peel the exact paint recipe sticker off the top of the old can and take it to the guy behind the counter. You know, the one that says "River Sand: 1 oz Yellow Oxide, 4 parts Burnt Umber, etc."

So he makes the paint and hands me the can, on which he puts the little sticker his machine spits out with the new recipe. And it doesn't match.
- "Well, sir, they change recipes for the colors sometimes. There's nothing we can do."
Yes, I understand this, but as I gave you the old recipe, can you not just duplicate it?
- "They change the recipes to save money. They use fewer ingredients."
I have no idea what that has to do with my walls. Please just follow the recipe I provided - see? Right here on this little card that another Home Depot man made 3 years ago when I bought the paint the first time.
- "But then it won't be 'River Sand,' And look - they're really close, anyway."
Why are you arguing with me? I'm not interested in matching what's in your computer. I'm trying to match the color that's on my freaking walls
- "...grumble... You'll see...."

I did, in the end, get my paint. And it matches. I suppose the whole thing is karma - the cosmos snickering at my spontaneous attempt to turn my kitchen into a kaleidescope.