Me: What do you want to do now? Bride: Fold your clothes. Me: Hm. I think I'm going to sit over here. Bride: What - you're just going to sit there and watch me fold your clothes? Me: Oh no - Bride: That's what I thought. Me: - I'm not going to watch. This was followed by me getting chased through the house and then soundly beaten. But really, after 13 years, you'd think she'd know better than to give me an opening like that.

I've no idea what the drink tastes like. It could taste somewhere between pig swill and rodent urine for all I know. But I do know that diet coke burns the nose when you snort-laugh while drinking it. Because that's what this commercial made me do. This blue Cuckoo is the best product mascot since... no, wait. Hostile Blue Scottish Cuckoo is officially the best product mascot ever. *Note: This commercial was deemed offensive to Glaswegians and the company redubbed it with a posh English accent and pansy lyrics at one point, without changing the video. Which was even funnier, in a sort of way. But the public complaints about the changed version far exceeded the original version, so they happily switched it back.

I'm sitting in a hotel in Basel, Switzerland, a city which traces its history back to the Roman Empire and beyond. A city which boasts the oldest university in Switzerland, and which is famous for its cultural appreciation and plethora of art museums. Judge Judy is on TV. *shudder* Seriously, Swiss people. All of American television is laid out before you to choose from, and Judge Judy Sheindlin is the best you can come up with? I'd rather take a Joey re-run in the eye than watch Judge Judy. Oh wait... commercial break's over. Back to the Judge.