No worries, Gipper

Some of my friends and relations have written me recently wondering if I had been bitten by a were-Liberal. Apparently, that's how it's passed on. That and sharing needles.

I'm beginning to worry about you, Ken. Are you feeling okay? First, there was the rant against the gay marriage amendment. Now you've posted your views about flag burning. And they're definitely leaning to the left rather than the right. What's next? Will you be writing fan letters to Bill Clinton?

Please, don't send the GOP Intervention Squad over to my house to redecorate in an elephant motif. I am still a card-carrying Republican, and a dyed-in-the-wool conservative. And as long as the former never contradicts with the latter, I'll keep sending my checks into RNC headquarters.

Republicans (used to) believe in the supremacy of self-determination with a minimum of government interference. I'm not talking full blown Libertarianism here - I am still fond of the rule of law, and believe that society does benefit from a framework which keeps us all moving vaguely together in a generally positive direction. But I do believe that my position on the proposed flag burning amendment and gay marriage ban are wholly in keeping with that philosophy.

The way I learned it, as long as I'm not kicking the nearest politician in the groin, or threatening my neighbor's prize cockatoo, the government should pretty much stay out of the business of telling me how to express myself. Particularly if I'm expressing my opinion about my government. Something about free speech. You know - that thing we enshrined in the Constitution. Hell, Charlton Heston tells me that being pissed at the government is why the Framers gave me the right to own a bazooka.

And that doesn't begin to address trying to tell me who I can play slap-and-tickle with in my own bedroom.

Admittedly, I learned all this in a public school, and we all know that they are the pawns of the Democratic party. But, truly, I am in little danger of joining the Cynthia McKinney fan club. I'm still the guy who's boyhood hero was Alex P. Keaton (know what the "P" stands for? I do) and not infrequently considered getting "I heart Ayn Rand" tattooed on some normally-clothed part of his body.

Mostly, I just want to write my quasi-humorous stories about the Critter or crazy British people. But hey, the 'Groove is my soap box. Sometimes I get the urge to preach - Don't worry, though. It usually doesn't last. (Except when I re-read my tattered copy of Atlas Shrugged, when I'm completely unbearable for the duration, and I can only apologize in advance).