Now my Bride just has to learn to play the half-empty liquor jug

In an attempt to further scar the Critter's poor vulnerable young psyche, we have enrolled her in first mandatory music class. Suzuki violin. The teacher at Queen's school for girls looked like her crumpet was going to come back up on her when I called it a "fiddle". Hey, what do you want from me, lady? I pretend at culture, but I still think salted & boiled peanuts constitute haute cuisine.

When I bought the violin for the Critter, she had to be 'sized.' We ended up with a "1/16th," which is the smallest violin they make - 1/16th of what, I asked? It's not 1/16th the size of a normal violin. More like 1/4. The guy at the store (which specializes in "orchestral instruments," which left me wondering - how many french horns does one have to sell to make a living?) didn't know why they called it that. Mm-hmm. Some expert. Whatever the reason, the thing is practically a toy - so tiny! Set next to my banjo, it looks like something scaled down for an oompa loompa. Which is about right, I guess, for a 4 year old, who likes chocolate.

The Critter's first proper class isn't until tomorrow, but she insisted on "practicing" tonight. So I showed her my impression of how to hold it (based pretty much on a guess and what I remember seeing on The Beverly Hillbillies), and she had at it. She actually made violin like noises, too. But not before she made my Bride leave the room, and shut the door. She needed "peace and quiet" to concentrate on practice, she said.

She has also told us that she wants to take ballet, more swim classes, and, after catching a recent Bruce Lee marathon on the telly, the deadly art of jeet kune do.

I wonder what face the teacher will make when I ask her if she knows "The Devil Went Down to Georgia".