Not that my beloved mother doesn't enjoy reading her second favorite son's musings (I'm not bitter - I'm much better looking than my brother, so I still win), but she still does those bendy-finger air quotes when she says the word "internet," so I think I'm safe.
Out of idle curiousity, I broke out my math skills today.
Let's say I drink six cans of Diet Coke (a.k.a. 'The Sweet Nectar of Life') a day. Let's say six, because while it sometimes only one or two, it is also sometimes more like six 2 liter bottles. Note to self: Don't try to hold a coherent conversation after that much caffienated goodness.
1 can of Diet Coke = 12 fl. oz = 0.75 pounds (yes, I know that fluid ounces and weight ounces aren't the same. What, are the International Standards of Weights & Measures Police going to come take me away, Mr. Anal? It's close enough.)
6 cans * 0.75 lbs = 4.5 lbs
4.5 lbs * 365 days = 1642.5 lbs a year
1 Ken (175 lbs) / 1642.5 = 9.4 Kens
I drink almost nine and a half times my own body weight in Diet Coke a year.
I am, like, totally going to live forever.