No doubt I'm a little behind the times with this one. I hate to say it, but there are times when I'm actually glad I can say I live in another country these days. Nebraska decides to give school segregation by race another try

Fifty years after America abolished segregated schools, the state of Nebraska was yesterday accused of seeking to carve up its largest school district along broadly racial lines: white, African-American and Hispanic. Under a new measure signed into law by the governor, Dave Heineman, on Thursday night, Omaha's highly regarded public school system would be divided into three racially distinct entities. North-eastern Omaha would have a mainly African-American school district, south-eastern Omaha would be largely Hispanic, and the relatively wealthy sections in the west of the city would be packaged into a largely white school district. The division, which was proposed by the only African-American member of the state legislature last week, was adopted at breakneck speed.

Of course, if you segregate the districts, then you're also segregating the tax base - meaning that those wealthy sections they mention above will keep their property tax dollars for their own schools, leaving the other two new districts to fend for themselves. So not only is this almost certainly ripe for constitutional challenge, it's also colossally stupid. Here's my favorite part - the Nebraska state motto: 'Equality before the law'

One morning this past week, my body decided to remind me that I have left my youth behind me for good. Since daylight savings time, we've enjoyed nice sunny mornings here in the north of England. (It's getting on towards the time of year when the sun doesn't really fully set here until nearly 11pm, which is pretty, but a right pain in the ass when trying to put a three year old to bed. 'But the sun hasn't gone to bed yet! I want to stay up til the sun goes to bed!' Thank the Lord for blackout curtains). Anyway, in the morning now our bathroom is full of warm sunshine, filling it with bright light, which always starts my day off in a good mood. I wake up and am usually out the door before anyone else in the house is up, and I enjoy the peace of the morning routine. (The preceding statement would make my mother's jaw hit the ground, if she could figure out how to turn on the internet to read it). I was in mid-facial-shave contortion - one of those face stretching angles that thrust my chin forward and upper lip out - when I saw it. It was a nose hair. And it was white. What the hell?! It was only a few years ago that my nose decided to sprout a jungle, and now they're turning white? When did this happen? Why wasn't I invited to vote on that decision? I had seen some grey hairs on my head previously, but only confined to the parts I ask the barber to trim. Soon after my nose decided it was jealous of the hair on the rest of my head and began an earnest effort to catch up, I had promised myself I would tend to that new patch with some diligence, and avoid ending up like some of those old guys who can braid the stuff coming out their nostrils. This is another one of those things that isn't in the Handbook On Getting Older but should be. If we have a son, I will do better by him, and pass this bit of sage advice on before he leaves the house: Nose hair is not sexy. Tend to it. Also, your prostate is not your friend. I realized I had been standing in front of the mirror in the same position, razor halfway through a pass, staring into my nostril at the latest insult time had inflicted on my body for nearly five minutes. No doubt this is not the last insult time will have for me. And I am sure that as the grey hairs continue to crop up, I will have to get used to it. I think this one scared me not as much for where it is, but for where the next one my show up.

ATF agents are always on alert for anything suspicious - including ninjas.

Jeremiah Ransom, a sophomore from Macon, was leaving a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained. "It was surreal," Ransom said. "I was jogging from Wesley to Snelling when I heard someone yell 'freeze.'" ATF agents had noticed Ransom's suspicious behavior and clothing and gave chase, apprehending him, Williamson said. "Agents noticed someone wearing a bandanna across the face and acting in a somewhat suspicious manner, peeping around the corner," said ATF special agent in charge Vanessa McLemore. Ransom was wearing black sweatpants and an athletic T-shirt with one red bandanna covering the bottom half of his face and another covering the top of his head, Williamson said.

A) Even if he was a ninja, since when did the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms get jurisdiction over ninjas? and B) Pirates vs. Ninjas? Seriously? Ninjas win, hands down.