My good friend Esther the entrepreneur, when describing a family member: "He's a lovely little man compared to, say, Hitler."

A note from our goddaughter's parents:

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From: George Black Sent: Sunday, February 12, 2006 5:30 PM To: Giuia Grady; Grady, Ken Subject: Re: January 27th, 2006 I think by the time Abby turns FOUR that she might start to notice that her GODPARENTS are forgetting her birthday. FYI - For 2007... And we will have to say, I don't know why they forgot, but they didn't remember in 2005 or 2006, so maybe they have divorced you as their God Child... Losers. HEHEHE. OOPS, did I just say that out loud? HAHAHA GB

I'm putting this up on Gradygroove as a public acknowledgment of our shame, so that Abby can look back on this as she grows older and see that we really do care. We're just crap at reading the calendar. I'm going to have to blame the difference in time zones. Greenwich Mean Time moves at a different rate, you know. And the metric system. In metric, her birthday isn't until sometime next week. And water's freezing point is at zero degrees. If it's any consolation, Abby, I routinely remember my own mother's birthday about five months late. And I lived with her for seventeen years. I've only known you for four now. I had thought all of this would be taken care of, as I've always considered my Bride the Keeper of Birthdays and Other Memorable Events. Unfortunately, I seem to have neglected to tell her that, and she was thinking that was part of my job description. As we've proven that we're both crap at the role, we've decided to let the Critter have a crack at it. This has thrilled her to no end, as she loves to write out Happy Birthday cards (unfortunately, she writes "To Ella" on the front of everyone of them). She's decided that every Tuesday should be someone's birthday, and everyone gets a bouncy castle. Once we realize we were officially crap Godparents for Abby this weekend, I suggested to my bride that at least we'd be in time to hit our godson's birthday. Wrong. Man, do we suck.