The wheels on the bus, they look like sloppy joes

Yesterday was the Critter's first day at her new school here in the U.S. She was remarkably calm about the whole thing. Me, I was a mess. After the whole ordeal of selecting a school, I still had (have) some amount of trepidation about where she is and where she's going into. This was not helped by the fact that she sat in my lap the night before, reading a book fluently and with inflection. All I could think about was how many of her classmates coming into first grade here will be still learning the sounds of the alphabet. I am sure that I am underestimating the local kindergarten system, but I remember being a bored kid in class. The Critter still loves school.. I'd really like her to keep that feeling. At least until she hits Trigonometry or something.
One of the things we've been trying to build up in the past weeks was Riding On The Bus. It's great to Ride On The Bus. Gee, I wish *I* got to Ride On The Bus. Aren't you a lucky girl, to get to Ride On The Bus to school? Excuse me while I stop the bus here to take thirty or so pictures of my little girl getting on, backing up morning commute traffic for an indeterminate length of time. This is important, you know. The truth is, I loathed riding the bus as a kid. And my Bride never rode the bus at all, but has to rely on media imposed images of giant testosterone-ingesting eighth graders smashing the littler kids into first-grade pancakes in rear most seats, unspeakably distant and out of sight from the senile/half-drunk/angry bus driver whose only desire in life is that those damned kids be quiet for once. Just for a minute. Just long enough for the voices to stop.
To keep our minds off the fact that we were voluntarily hurling our little girl into the waiting jaws of the schoolyard bully, we distracted ourselves by going shopping for school supplies. Which are, reassuringly, the same bunch of stuff that we needed as kids. Backpack. Notebooks. Pencils. Things to decorate your backpack/notebooks/pencils with. We also received a list of items required by the school. Most of which were expected (ruler, paper, etc.) Some of which were not. Rolls of paper towels, for example. OK, I went to private school for the first 9 years of my education, but I've seen our property tax bill. Really? Paper towels? This is considered an "extra" by the school district? Surely the school can get a better deal on an industrial sized order of paper towels than I and the other parents can in going and picking up a roll or two of the quicker-picker-upper. What else hasn't changed? The fact that kids end up carrying an insane amount of stuff in their backpack/otherwise. See this face? This is the face that says, "You want me to carry all of what?"
When she got off the bus at the end of the day, I pelted her with questions. How was it? Do you like your teacher? Were the other kids nice? How was the lunch room? Did you get recess? Did you read today? How was the bus? Did you sit with somebody? Where is your homework? When do you start on Calculus and the advanced robotics studies? She shrugged, and told me it was good, she sat with our neighbor on the bus (also a little girl in first grade) and that she liked her teacher, and the other kids she sat near, and that she forgot their names, but ask her tomorrow. Maybe she'll remember then. And Dad, they're going to have sloppy joes at the cafeteria tomorrow, so make sure to give me lunch money, OK, Dad? In fact, why don't you give it to me now, so you don't forget, and I'll put it here in my bag so that I have it for the sloppy joes. I love sloppy joes. That's our Critter. Never mind that learning stuff. Let's talk about the quality of what's on the menu.
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On toys

Just before the Critter's birthday, we had a long discussion about whether or not to get her a Nintendo DS. I can't for the life of me remember why now, as voting against anything with a circuit board and a touch screen seems pretty unlike me, but I was against it. Maybe it was a reaction to having just inventoried all our crap in preparation for the move. Including the mountain of shiny plastic and doll bits that our daughter of just-now-6 has somehow accumulated in her short life. Not long after she was born, I went to a Toys 'R' Us for the first time as a new dad. Looking at the racks and racks of toys as a father, rather than a post-teen that didn't want to grow up was a revelation. It was a whole new experience for me. I realized that there were so many things that I would get to introduce her to. Things that I loved as a kid. Things that I would have loved as a kid, but only got to see on commercials. Things that I would have loved as a kid, but weren't invented yet. There were action figures, and bikes, and erector sets, and Legos! Oh, how I loved the Legos. A kid up the street from me had enough Legos to rebuild Versailles, actual size. On the moon. (Because he had the space sets). I had the remnants of one sad Lego castle set and a few blocks that I got in a Happy Meal. I totally had Lego envy. Also, I had computer envy. Because he had an Atari 800, and I had, well, the remnants of one sad Lego castle set and a few blocks that I got in a Happy Meal. So flash forward 20 years, and I'm standing in Toys Be We, and looking at the shelves of Legos. A bucket of Legos about the size of a standard bathtub costs less than twenty bucks. Twenty bucks. For hours of happy construction, yellow-headed fun. All I could think was: my parents were such cheap bastards. With a few years of parenting under my belt, I now understand. They weren't cheap. They were smart. A bathtub of Legos equals dozens of night time incidents of Lego-foot crippling. Stepping on one of those little pegged hazards in the dark hours has probably caused more me to swear more viciously in one go than I did in all my years in the military. They used the price tag as an excuse, but really they were just trying to limit the deluge of crap that can take over your house if you ever let down your toy guard. But back to the DS. My Bride over ruled my objections, and the Critter somehow ended up with a DS. It was because we were moving, she said, and she wanted her to have something that she could play with and out of trouble while all our things were in transit. About five seconds after she opened the box, she had hauled me out to the game shop to pick out something she could play. She picked Cooking Mama 2. I threw in Dr. Kawashima's Brain Training: How Old Is Your Brain? as well, because I saw it had sudoku. And my Bride is a fiend for sudoku. And I'm nice to the little lady like that. That was my mistake. Soon, my Bride and I were hovering over the Critter saying things like, "are you done yet?" and "you look like you're tired. Here, let me hold the DS for you," and "As your father, I am instituting a 7 minutes a day time limit for DS use for children in this household. It's for your own good. Now hand it over. My brain age is 73, and I need to be mocked by a strange Japanese man to make it better." About a week and a half of this, and my Bride broke down and bought me a DS too. And then I discovered that there were other games. There's a Lego Star Wars game, people. Princess Leia in Jabba-dancer bikini and it's all Legos. Stick that in your toy box, kid down the street. I may never leave my house again.
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Summer fun

This morning, the Critter went to her first day of summer camp. And there was much rejoicing. When I was a kid, I avoided summer camp like the plague. Of course, my athletic aptitude as a kid was slightly behind that of a somewhat ill ficus tree. (Hell, I can't even use the "as a kid" excuse. That's pretty much true today as well. Except now I'm older and with the love handles. Which adds a drag factor.) So "summer camp" for me conjured up weeks of being picked last for the canoe-volleyball-relay races and making ugly ashtrays out of clay/pipecleaners/toilet paper rolls. Fortunately for me, my parents were either moved by my annual theatrics and detailed flip-charts and graphs explaining Why Summer Camp Causes Syringomyelia And Other Reasons Not To Send Me There or, more probably, were painfully aware of my lack of ability to, you know, throw a ball. So though it was occasionally brought up as an idea, I never went. Unfortunately for her, the Critter shows a tendency more towards my athletic capabilities, rather than her mother's (who was voted "Most valuable player" and "most willing to take a hit for the team" and "most creative foul of the season" by her high school soccer team for 4 years running). It kills my Bride when she sees the Critter run like a grandmother across the yard, or when the Critter prefers to read a book or color on the bleachers, rather than play ju-jitsuball, or whatever it is the kids are playing these days. I just smile, as I totally recognize the source of the choice. And I remind my Bride that she has the boy still, so there's hope yet that we'll have birthed an athlete. All this being said, I wasn't really sure how the Critter was going to take to summer camp. Toss in a bit of her natural shyness, and I figured we stood a good chance of experiencing a meltdown in the parking lot this morning. But we deliberately chose a local camp, with the thought that this would at least give her the chance to meet some of the kids she'd be going to school with in a few weeks. And we played this up in the last month or so, trying to build her excitement. As it turned out, we needn't had bothered. We neglected to factor in what two weeks of being cooped up in the new house with no toys or furniture, and two adults that want to focus on things like room-painting or teaching the new dog not to piss on the floor (Big Dog = Big Mess) and pretty much no outlet for her six-year-old energy would do to whet her appetite for some other kids to play with. My Bride reported this morning that the Critter didn't even look back this morning. She was so excited to see another face that wasn't ours that it totally outweighed any trepidation she might have had around what she was actually going to do when she got there. She told me this evening that she already met some good people and found a good friend. She maybe could be her new best friend. What's her name? She doesn't remember. But she's really neat. And somebody else was really jealous of the watermelon we packed in her snack box. What else did they do today? Who knows. But I got a detailed report of what everybody had in their snack box. Oh yeah. That's my kid.
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