About every three or four months, our friendly bank decides that we shouldn't live in the UK. At least, that must be what's going on. Because they all of a sudden decide that a random transaction is "fishy", and they freeze the account. I appreciate that they're trying to look out for my interests, really I do. I know fraud is a problem. But I've seen circus monkeys who are quicker on the uptake. Voice on the phone: Hello - how can I provide you with super-fantastic service today?* Me: You've frozen my account again. Please undo that. Voice: Well sir, your account was flagged for suspicious activity. Me: What was so suspicious this time? Voice: Someone was charging gas on your card. In England. Me: At Uriah Heep's Gas 'n' Guzzle**? Um, yeah. That was me. I live here. Voice: Oh. When did you start your trip abroad? Me: No. Not a trip. I live here. Voice: Oh! I see sir. For your future reference, you should call us and tell us when you're relocating. Me: ...! I've lived here for nearly two years now. Do me a favor and read me what you have listed as my home address. Voice: Um... Frod-sham, Che-shire, Great Britain. Me: Right. That's where you've been sending me my statements for the past two years. Which means I've pretty much told you, yes? Voice: I guess you must have. Well, we did try and call you. It says in the record that we left a message. Me: What number did you use? Voice: We don't have a phone number for you. Me: Really? That must have made leaving a message tricky. Voice: Wait a minute. Me: ... Me: ... Me: ... Voice: Ok, the note here says they called this other number. It's not where the normal numbers are. Me: That's probably because it's international. Voice: It begins with 44? Me: Yes. That's because I live England now. Which means I'm generally going to be using my card in England. Please note that in your system once again. Voice: OK sir. It's been noted. This shouldn't happen again. Every 4 months like clockwork... * I swear, she actually said this. ** OK, I made that place up. But I'd totally buy my gas there, wouldn't you?

I have no update And so I write only this A haiku of noth- Damn. Out of syllables again.