Spring is near. And bottling

I know Mother Nature is just messing with us, but this recent spate of warm weather has gotten us all in the mood to be outside, and active, and getting things ready for the onset of green-ness that I am too busy wishing is just around the corner. But first, let's talk alcohol. Our attempt at cider making had been percolating in the cellar for long enough, keeping our hanging meat company. I had nothing but a couple of very rough guidelines from a couple of books to go on, but I figured not-quite-five-months was about the right fermentation time, and I did what any good amateur brewer would do: I brought up the buckets, lined up the bottles, and gathered the children. I honestly had no idea if we had managed to create something drinkable when we brought it up out of its resting place. The steps to create a hard (fermented) cider are pretty much to put a bunch of raw cider into a bucket, add some sulfide to kill off the bacteria, come back a day later with a bunch of sugar of one sort or another, add some yeast, and seal it up. Don't touch it for lots of months. I opened this not knowing if we had created 15 gallons of vinegar or something else equally unpalatable. Like sarin gas, maybe. Fortunately, it turned out to be remarkably... not terrible. Actually better than that. It was almost... really good. Wait, take a look again at my kids helping me bottle it all. Have you ever seen anything cuter than a 2 year old operating one end of a siphon? We created batches of 'still' cider, and batches of carbonated 'long necks'. We painstakingly crafted labels for our brew, marking the batch that was "sweet(er)" and "less sweet". [What's the difference? Well, I used two different kinds of yeast, and two different kinds of sugar - honey & brown sugar. Unfortunately, I may have forgotten to label what went into which bucket. And so it's possible that I don't have any way of knowing how to recreate our favorite (the "sweet(er)"). This oversight on my part might drive my Bride - the Scientist by training and trade - just a little bit insane. Just a little.) After a couple of weeks of additional carbonation time, we invited over a bunch of neighbors and friends for a taste test. Critics agree, it didn't suck. We all pretty much preferred it a little bit sweeter (the other tastes more 'yeasty' - a bit more like beer, actually. For the record, both ended up at right about 6% alcohol in the end). Ok. One more picture of the Critter and the finished, labeled bottles. I really just took this picture to show you her shirt. You love it, I know. (If you want one of your own, go here) We'll definitely be doing the cider thing again this fall - it's certainly not an instant gratification thing, but I'm happy as heck with the final product, all in all. Which is good, because after a day clearing a season's bracken and crap from the garden bed, I was in need of something to relax the aches. Fortunately, my pair of young bottlers were on hand to help out once again. Those kids can be shockingly useful at times.
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Holiday read - Hungry Monkey

This whimsical pick during my Amazon shopping has been on of my absolute favorite recent finds, and if you have a kid, are thinking about having a kid, or just appreciate good food, I want you to run out and pick up your own copy. I've already sent one to both my brother & his wife (about to adopt a child), and to my sister-in-law (dating a guy with kids). Now it's time for you to buy one. As a father, there's been little that has brought me more pleasure than sharing the joy & discovery of food with the kids. This morning, the Critter helped me make candied bacon to go with our oatmeal. Last night, the Boy helped me stir peas and our homemade pancetta into our risotto. From the time that they can sit upright and hold onto a spoon, they're pretty much ready to help in one way or another in the kitchen. The author of this book dedicates a whole chapter to, "You fed your child WHAT?". It goes along with what he lays out as Rule #1 - (and I believed, even before I read it here) - 'There is no such thing as baby food'. It can't be too spicy, or too raw, or too seasoned once they're over a year old. (The singular exception, which I will go along with, is honey - not because they won't love it. But it can carry a bacteria that causes infant botchulism.) Generally speaking, if you can eat it, they can eat it. Not only have I always been glad to let our kids try whatever was on my plate as a way of broadening their palate, but I can't imagine the stress of being one of those parents that specially prepares a separate meal for the kid, and packages plain white chicken cubes or ritz crackers everywhere we go, just in case. But most of all, this book rang true for me because I have found the same connection with our kids in the kitchen that the author does. No matter how irritating the small, noisy and often smelly people that live in our house are, and no matter how much pre-bedtime whining or "Holy crap, kid, would you please pick up your bedroom!?" arguing there is, there are two things that the kids & I always agree on. Reading to them at bedtime, and food. It's a whole set of traditions you'll come to love with the kids. When I pull out the meat grinder, the Critter knows it's time to make chorizo. She won't let me buy tortillas if we have time to make it ourselves. And she will always prefer home-made pizzas to the crap you get at Domino's. Don't get me wrong, she's still picky about some things (why on earth would anyone make macaroni and cheese that doesn't come out of a blue box?), and she'll never say no to Taco Bell, but she also chose sushi for her 7th birthday dinner, going right for the fatty tuna and the toro roll. The boy isn't so much a picky eater, he just rarely eats. But we found that just like when he gets to stir the risotto - he's a lot more likely to eat something he helped pick out of the garden, or helped make in the kitchen. When I grew up, I wasn't exactly a picky eater, I just was less-than-adventurous. It wasn't until I moved to California (and specifically, when I started dating the beautiful lady who later agreed to marry me in a moment of weakness) that I really started trying out new foods, and discovered the joy that comes from vegetables that aren't boiled with a piece of salt pork until they're dead (although, I still like them that way too), or the hidden culinary mysteries behind a dim sum brunch. I don't think I could have been any prouder than when my two-year-old asked for, and then ate a half dozen quail eggs for breakfast this week, or when my daughter helped me cure and hang our own hams with the same apparent enjoyment that most kids reserve for their Wii.
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Decompacting

Oh. Um. Hello. Hello? Is this thing on? What the hell... I have a blog? Why didn't someone tell me? Whew. It's a little dusty in here. When was the last time you cleaned this place? Wait. Don't tell me. I can tell from the mold on this... um.. whatever that is. It's been a while. Fortunately, I've come prepared. I have been saving up scraps of pathetic excuses for a while now for just such an occasion, written on scraps of paper and the backs of old Chick-fil-a receipts. Excuse #1: I've been busy. No. Seriously. Like mongo-busy. I don't know what the heck happened, but all of a sudden, I have like 3 less hours in my day. Who does that? Who took my hours? Why would you do such a thing? I need those hours. I've been practicing banjo less, reading less, and yes, writing less. I've also been ironing less, mumbling under my breath more, and had caffeine on an intravenous drip for the past month or so. I believe these things might be related. Except for that last thing. I've found that to just be a heck of a lot more efficient. Excuse #2: The Boy is 2 years old now. That's reason in itself. I had forgotten what a 2 year old is like. Yeah. I knew that would get your sympathy. Never had a 2 year old of your own? Go find a dog. Teach it to say "no" and "Choo-Choo!" on an endless loop. Now give it amphetamines and try and sit it down to put its shoes on. And don't let it get into its sisters toys, or there will be hell to pay. Also, teach it to hold a shotgun. This isn't strictly necessary, but it's cute. And cute makes up for a lot.
Oh my god. I can't believe you taught your kid to hold a gun. Even a toy gun. It's people like you that are responsible for gangs and teaching children that violence is ok. I am so calling the Massachusetts Liberal Intervention Society for an emergency hug. I wish I could take credit for teaching him to hold it, but that's 100% pure natural talent, baby. We were at a friend's house, a friend with two older boys, and The Boy just picked up that gun and took aim.. I tried for a week to figure out how the heck he knew what to do. It's not like he's picking that stuff up on the Wonder Pets. Then one night as I sat up late at the keyboard with The Boy on my lap watching me take on a horde of Nazi Zombies in Call of Duty: World at War, I realized I might have discovered a clue. However, I figure this is a good lesson. You can never start too early or be over-prepared for the undead. Excuse #3: Wait a sec... I can't read this one. Oh yeah: "My dog ate my blog." Oh, no. Wait. That one's leftover from a few years ago. But it could have happened. That dog eats a lot. Ok, whatever. My excuses suck. But they are my excuses, and I will continue to love them, even when they go bad, knock off a liquor store and smell kind of you-can't-put-your-finger-on-it-but-you-know-kind-of-off. Now please step aside. I'm trying to sweep this thing off, and I think you've standing in something I left lying out too long.
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