Newbury prize committee, feel free to email me

This past weekend, we took the Critter to get her hair cut. This is only the third time we've done this in all her 6-going-on-17 years, and the experience was clearly An Event. To ease the drama of the whole thing, and make it a little more welcome experience that maybe won't come back to haunt us in therapy later in life, we found a cool place specializing in cutting your child's hair: Snip-its - a hair salon just for kids. This place does "hair cutting birthday parties" - Obviously they know a thing or two about making a hair cut fun. When we got home, after much sniffling and barely-tolerated cutting, the Critter sat over to the side of the living room, drawing intently. After a while, we got a chance to see the document that she had put together, apparently as a record of the horror we inflicted upon her through this ordeal. I'm assuming this is intended to be submitted as courtroom evidence in her upcoming child emancipation suit.
The Ugly Book About My Hair By Ella. Illustrated by Ella When we got to Snip-its, I was scared that they were going to cut all my hair off. I wrote in my secret diary. She sprayed water on my hair to make it easy to comb. She combed my hair and cut my hair. I got my hair cut at Snip-its hair cuts for kids. It has a TV in front of the chair. I look ugly.
On the one hand, ohmygawd what a tragic story - If this little book was dropped off at Child Services, I'm sure that someone would be looking to lock her parents away for abuse, and get that kid off to a farm, with a loving family, and plenty of room for her to run free and chase rabbits. But on the other hand, we actually know the Critter, and her budding drama-queen tendencies. So my Bride and I laughed until it hurt, and applauded our daughter's promising future as a writer for Oscar acceptance speeches and possibly Bristol Palin. For the record, we had all of about 2 inches cut from her hair, which now reaches neatly to the middle of her back, instead of having to be looped around her waist several times as a belt.
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Year end wrap up, 2008

This Christmas has been one of the most relaxing we've had since... well, last Christmas. We've made a habit out of low key holidays since we got the first kid, and with the addition of the other one, we've re-committed ourselves to not ever leaving our house again during a national holiday. Not even Arbor Day. This gives us the opportunity to really enjoy our house, the full fun and fruit of decorating our home and putting up the trees - Every year we get two Christmas trees. Because even before she was bringing home macaroni ornaments, I knew that I wanted to have a "kid's tree" where macaroni ornaments could go. And a grown up tree that was everything fancy and beautiful like I saw in those magazines, but could never have because my Father, the Surgeon, always insisted on tinsel and giant, fist-sized colored lights, when I wanted simple white lights and traditional ornaments. This is so much part of our annual holiday tradition now that the Critter looks at other kids who don't have to put up with the second tree thing as if they live in a magical story book land, you know, you've heard about those places, but gee, I always thought they were just made up. Every year, we tell our family that as much as we'd love to see them, we have the children and an aversion to fighting our way through insane Christmas airport traffic while trying to keep a pair of small, feral monkeys from eating one another, flinging their poo at random strangers, or telling me right after we get in line at the check-in desk that she really needs the toilet right now. But we're here, and our door is open. This year, for the first time, one of our family members called our bluff and came to stay with us for the duration. My Bride's sister arrived just before the 3 feet of snow we got the weekend before Christmas and stayed for the duration. In the Critter's eyes, her Auntie ranks someplace between Minnie Mouse and Baby Jesus, so actually having her here at Christmas time made her head explode just a little bit. It also gave my Bride and I an extra barrier between sanity and the endless parade of "When does Santa get here? Is he on his sleigh yet? Don't the reindeer get tired? What shall we leave out for Santa?" questions. I've many things to be thankful for this year, probably most of all the opportunity to be at home, safe and warm with my loving family while this snow accumulated outside (seriously.. for a boy from Georgia, getting 3 feet of snow in a couple of days was a daunting experience. I was looking at my chainsaw and the forest behind our house thinking that I might need to tackle a couple more trees before it was all over). But a very close second in order of thankfulness was the absolutely fantastic set of spice jars I received this year from my sister-in-law. Oh my God, these things are fantastic. I've been wanting to do this for years, ever since I saw Martha use these, but I didn't want the whole magnet backed thing, because a) I figured they'd just get messy if they were out all the time, and b) I don't have anything to stick them on that's ferrous except for the front of our dishwasher. And who puts spices on the front of their dishwasher? But look at how beautifully lined up and organized they are! It gave me the chance to consolidate, clean up, throw out old spices and really see what I had hidden away in my cabinet. Every time I open the drawer and see these I am inspired to cook new and different things. I've already found myself using things I had forgotten about (toasted rice - one of the key ingredients for so many southeast asian dishes that you've tried to replicate at home, but can't figure out what that last ingredient you remember tasting and feeling in your mouth - it's partly about the texture - it's probably toasted rice.) In the new year, I hope to carry this spirit forward and re-claim some of the organization I've lost in the past few months during all of the move craziness. There are a hundred and one little projects to do - I finally started converting the attic into a playrooom for the kids, and I have to say it's looking pretty cool. I laid out the raised beds for this year's new vegetable garden before the ground froze. And then there're the chickens we're getting this spring. Because everybody needs some chickens. Right? In addition to the house projects, there are a dozen or more other, professional efforts that will keep me going in the new year, which I'm really looking forward to, but I'm hopeful that I will also have the time and inspiration to write more in one shape or another. Or at least photo-document some of the madness that keeps us hopping. In the mean-time, I hope you are having a lovely Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/or Pagan Yule Log. Whatever floats your boat. Here's to another fantastic year, from our house to yours.
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