I'm gonna be reeeeal good this year, because this is so very definitely going to be on my Santa-list next Christmas

From Ulaanbanjo:

[H]ere's the label from the back of a chinese packet of salted peanuts: THIS PRODUCT IS MADE OF SELECTED SHANDONG GREAT PEANUT KERNELS AND PROCESSED WITH ADVANCED EQUIPMENT AND TECHNOLOGY OF THE WORLD. IT IS TASTY AND CRISP, NOT OILY, AND IS A KIND OF CONVENIENT TOURING FOOD AS WELL. YOU MAY CHOOSE IT AS A PRESENT OR ENTERTAIN GUESTS WITH IT. IF IT GOES WITH TEA AND WINE, A NICE FLAVOUR COULD BE ENJOYED.

Where can I sign up for some "advanced equipment and technology of the world"?

When we left Austria, we had gotten to the airport about an hour and a half too early. So while the Critter played on the slide area in the terminal with a bunch of other little ones, I wandered around the in-terminal convenience store to look at all of the over-priced souveniers. I was thirsty, so I picked up a couple of bottles of water, and because I'm a sucker for anything salty and bad for me, I looked at the chip/crisp aisle. There, on a top shelf, sat bags and bags of Kelly's Snips. They look kind of like Cheese puffs, but substitute peanuts for the cheese. Even though I am also a sucker for anything peanut, I was afraid to try these things, and it took me three trips back to look at the bag before I figured what the hell, and bought a bag. My bride looked at me like I had gone and lost what few marbles still rolling around inside my head, but I figured, hey, life's too short not to try the occasional new snack food. And at least these aren't meat flavored. It took me two bites to figure out that these were the the best food ever packaged and sold to humankind. They're something like Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, but without the sweetness. And the texture of a Cheese poof, but without the cheese. Which no doubt leaves you understanding exactly what they taste like. I immediately went back in and bought three more bags to stuff into my carry-on luggage. The only problem is that after much research on returning home, I've found that the only country outside of Austria where these are sold is Bosnia. Frikkin' Bosnia, people. My craving is denied. The gods of Junk Food are mocking me. Meanwhile, if anyone in Austria or Bosnia happens to read the 'Groove, please drop me an email and let's arrange a drop shipment.